Waiting: Surviving Grief and Loss

I haven’t written anything, at least not anything bloggish, for awhile, but have been pondering the idea of it for a few weeks… ever since the “dying season” began. And thus, the Waiting.

For someone who is now accustomed to speaking with people about life, death, grief, and loss on a daily basis I shouldn’t find myself remarkably swayed when it occurs, but this year, for reasons of a greater purpose, the period between February to May (May being the worst for me) seems to be taking a sharper toll than usual on everyone I am in contact with by way of loss of friends, and parents, and even pets. That is even before I start accounting for clients’ recent losses. I have been hoping for it to taper off, however just four days ago, minutes before I went to do sessions in Stillwater, I received news of yet another unexpected death of a school friend.

Empathy

About a year ago I had a student tell me that he didn’t understand why people weep at funerals. For one, I don’t think he has lost anyone all that near and dear to him yet. But two, I suppose he is measuring everything from his detached perspective and highly elevated understanding that life, our soul existence, is in continuum. I also suspect there is little he experiences by way of clairsentient empathy (the ability to actually feel another person’s emotions). For even when the awareness and understanding of the continuity of life is great, the majority of us in that position are still connected to the human loss, the emotions, and the sympathies that are a natural part of our being here in these particular forms.

We cry because we are having a human experience and sadness, despair, regret, grief and loss are a part of that experience. And, expressing emotions is important.

Finding the good

Life does continue for all those that shed their physical bodies. I see them trying to reach out to their loved ones constantly, trying to let them know they are truly not far away and that they are whole and healthy and happy again. This is the gift for me in this lifetime of being able to let the surviving friends and family know this, to be able to relay the messages and convey the feelings of those around them who have crossed over. It comes with with terrible responsibility, and with great joy, and I am grateful each time I am able to reconnect people.

Each instance is so unique and moving to me. Sadness is replaced with a renewed bond of love; loss replaced with hope.   However I am finding, this particular season, a certain challenge to this gift too, which is maybe even more saddening for me than witnessing the losses themselves…and that is when I know and can see and hear the passed loved ones wanting to connect to their family and friends here, but no matter how available I am to them, they are not ready or willing to speak to me about their grieving and to those they are grieving for.

So, oftentimes those who have passed see and approach me as they know I am aware of their presence, and we talk. And then we talk about the waiting. We talk about the need for the survivors to be at a particular place in their grieving to be able to make this re-connection. And we put trust in divine timing. Then we, the passed loved one and I, we wait.


There are a lot of other kinds of waiting going on for so many people too. It very much has to do with this transition and transformation period we’re currently in. (Back to the blog about 11’s). But, all for another writing I think, which should likely start with this poem I saw recently:

Calling You

I’m waiting.
You didn’t know?
I came here
just to love you.
Called your heart
one million times
in small raindrops from the sky.
~suzanne saporito    


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FOR THE 21 SEP 09 DIVINATION GAME:
Each of the items and descriptions you wrote down are representative of the following (in order):

1. Yourself at this time.
2. What positive aspects are working in your favor right now.
3. What may be of concern or negative influence at the moment.
4. What you are working toward.
5. What you should know to keep moving forward.

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