Children Seeing Spirits: Q & A |

From a concerned parent regarding children seeing spirits:

Q: Is my child seeing dead people?

I have a 3 year old and every great once in a while she will just stop and wave at nothing; like she sees someone and will say “Hi” or “Bye”. We moved into a different house a few months ago. In the last couple weeks she will be doing something and say it “smells like dead” and look around. Mind you I don’t talk about death and she really doesn’t have experience with it, so for her to say that is very odd.

A couple days ago we were napping on the couch. She woke me up saying a lady was in here and left because she saw her. I first checked the doors and they were chained, so no chance of anyone getting in. I asked her where the lady went and she said she just left. My daughter wasn’t scared, but surprised to see this lady. Is there something I should be watching for or doing? I have this very odd feeling she can see dead people. It sounds crazy to me but not sure how else to explain it.

A: From Heather

I’m certain that your daughter is seeing someone in spirit – whether it’s just ghosts or not is another thing. Children are also very perceptive of seeing passed loved ones and their spirit guides (who are often written off by parents as “imaginary friends”). The important part is that she isn’t afraid. Usually children only become afraid of their experiences because of their parents reacting poorly to the situation. Sometimes this is intentional, sometimes not. But whether it’s from putting their own fears on their child, or by punishing or belittling the child, it is a horrible way to treat them.

Your daughter is so young still, it would be hard to find out more from her about her experiences. The best thing you can really do is be calm and matter-of-fact about it. You can ask simple questions in response to what she tells you just like it sounds like you have been doing. That validates her experience so she feels more in control and supported by you. Chances are this amounts to one, maybe two questions she’ll feel like answering, but let her prompt when and if she wants or needs to talk about it.

If fears surface

The only thing that would be of concern is if your daughter is ever afraid or feels like she can’t control what’s going on. Which may or may never come up. If it would, empower her by telling her that she has the ability to ask the person in spirit to go away if they are bothering her. If ever there comes a time where she seems upset by her experiences, you can also let her know that she can always ask her spirit guide or angels to watch over her and keep her safe, or to ask them for help.

Almost all children grow out of seeing those in spirit as they assume “human” filters that begin to override their spiritual identities. Typically this happens somewhere around 8-12 years old. Those that don’t outgrow it, if taught how to handle their abilities confidently, grow to be able to manage their experiences and never develop a fear of it.

In addition

As a side note, I speak to parents and children of ALL ages who have questions and concerns similar to those of this parent who recently emailed me. Children seeing spirits is a fairly common occurrence. That does not mean that each child or situation is not unique. It is beneficial to address the concerns in a very personalized way.

There are many ways to learn about what is going on, to understand it, and to learn to cope with and manage it, whether it’s a child or an adult. Of course people’s experiences are always varied from person to person and situation to situation, but it is important to know that it is very common, completely normal, and your child and you are not alone. For those who need, an appointment is always the best way to cover everything that is going on at any particular time. This brings an opportunity to discuss ways to deal with whatever the situation is. It also presents a chance for personalized advice for you or your child’s particular concerns. Find information about appointments with Heather Oelschlager (by phone, or in-person) at Mandorla Academy on the Consultations page.